Blessed and Loved

I am in love! Haha. For real!!!

Jesus has blessed me above and beyond measure with more than I could have ever asked for our thought up. I don’t deserve any of it.

I’m learning so much about God’s love for me through this season. I’m realizing my lack as well. I am seeing that I totally struggle, more than anything, believing that God really loves me unconditionally and that it will actually last forever and wont end like everything else. I also struggle recieving God’s love at all. But I am begining to understand what it really means to recieve love and to give it back.

I am literally overwhelmed with the love of God. Every single morning I wake up with a HUGE smile on my face and my spirit feels soooo alive! I feel like weights have lifted and my vision is begining to clear. Every single day God pours out His love abondantly upon me. As He does that, my heart feels like its going to explode (even physically) because I can hardly handle the extreme love He pours out. Each day I feel like I can’t even take anymore because He’s already given so much, and yet I haven’t even touched the fringes of His love yet! Oh man! I am overwhelmed! I am overcome!

Thank you Jesus for Your love. I am eternally grateful.

Beauty For Ashes!!!

The Lord is exceedingly faithful to His word!!! He truly does give beauty for ashes and restores — even 10-fold — what the loscusts have tried to eat away!

This last month has been the best month of my life! There has been so much freedom and so much breakthrough in areas of my life I never thought possible! Though He has bruised me, He has restored me ten million times more. What He has given far exceeds what He has taken away (both inward and outward)! The joy far outways the tribulation. I can even take joy IN the tribulation now! Seriously! I can! I have found myself hearing His voice so much clearer and fear digresses. My boldness has been restored and has even increased! I feel the lion being awakened within me. I praise God for taking those things out of my life! I was so blind not to see it for what it was — weights that hindered me from running. Now I have begun to go to places I have never gone before. I had no idea the inheritance He has given me! The Lord has even been using me in capasities I never imagined, and yet He has so much more to give!

People perish for lack of vision. We need not to look at what is seen, but what is unseen. I want to be like Paul, a man who was lost in the unseen! God has freely given us ALL things but it takes the SPIRIT to know and see it. Our inheritance through Christ is everything God has to give and the door is WIDE OPEN. We just lack the vision to see the door! Therefore, my journey is this: “I want to know what I have been given that I may lay hold of it!”

The kingdom of Heaven suffers violence and the VIOLENT take it by force… Meaning, you ain’t gonna get this at a McDonald’s drive-thru! You’ve got to fight, contend, and WAR for it! You were made to know the DEEP things of God! He didn’t just die so that we could have fire insurance but so that Heaven can open up into us! That’s our inheritance!

I am going to DARE to believe that Jesus died for ME and opened up Heaven for ME. The other day He told me, “No more living in scraps, but FEAST at the table, My daughter!” I believe that with all my heart. He no longer calls me “servant,” but He calls me “friend.” I’ve been trying to get into a room I’m already in, contending for breakthrough for the “annointing” when He has said, “You’ve been given everything already! Just go do it! Dare to believe the inheritance is yours too!”

God is so good to us.

I will no longer be like the elephant at the circus. When they first get an elephant, they tie a chain to their leg and put the other end of the chain to a big wooden peg. So the elephants just walk around the peg all day long. After the elephant gets settled, they actually take off the chain. But when the elephant is set free, it doesn’t go anywhere. It will keep walking around the chain because they are comfortable there. It’s what they know. They don’t even realize they have been set free. How often we do the same. But no more, in Jesus’ Name! For whom the Son sets free is free indeed! Amen! I am free. FOR REAL!

The Love of My Life

Oh yes, I have found Him!

How beautiful is HIS face!
…with eyes that burn like fire.

How sweet is HIS Name!
…It is like honey upon my lips.

How precious is HIS Word!
…living and active in my heart.

HE is altogether lovely!
…He is alltogether perfect!

I am in love with a Love that is eternal….

…and HE loves me back…

Eternity’s eternal song is calling me and drawing me away…

This season in life is so much different than any of the others before it. Sometimes I don’t quite know what to do with myself. God’s voice and His direction are becoming so much clearer, and everything else so much dimmer. Yet the lust of the flesh rages just as strong as ever. God’s voice — that piercing still small voice — has been all that’s sustained me at times. I would be nothing without Him.

This season has been one of testing, trials, and hard-core purging. It’s what we call the winepress. The things I’ve had to face in this season of life have been some of the most difficult I’ve ever gone through in my life. It’s been one thing after another and it keeps getting more and more difficult. By His grace, I walk in victory over each trial. But only by His grace do I stand.

In those intense moments, right in the middle of the storm, where I just want to give up, run away, and call it quits, I hear a gentle word from the Lord. It’s funny how even the gentlest word from God can pierce your heart and turn your stomach even so that you lose your breath! But all it takes is that gentle rebuke or exhortation from God to encourage you to pick up your sword, put on your armor, and fight your way through the rest of the storm so that you come out in victory by His grace and in His strength. This is also where being eternally minded really strengthens you to endure.

I feel like God has been teaching me to overcome even my own emotions that have been able to control me for so long. It’s come to the point where, if my emotions control me, I will end up not making it through these trials and giving up. I had no idea the kind of power we have in the Lord to overcome even our own emotions. I mean, obviously God is God and He can do anything, but I can also do all things through Christ who gives me strength. I’ve come to find Philippians 4:13 to be absolutely true through experience these past few weeks.

Even just physically speaking life over myself by saying the truths of scripture out loud has been like a sword to help me fight and to give me strength to endure through anything. In fact, that’s exactly what Job did, that’s exactly what Paul did, and most importantly, that’s exactly what Jesus did. When tempted, when persecuted, when being slandered, mocked, and through all kinds of trial and tribulation, they picked up their sword and fought. They spoke the truth about God, they spoke forth the truth of the Word of God, and the endured because they used their sword not only as a weapon to defeat the enemy, but also as an anchor to stay steady and not be moved.

Job 26 is the perfect example. Job, as most of you well know, went through some of the most intense trials a man has ever endured all in one season of life. On top of all that, his “friends” mock him, slander him, and speak lies over him. In response to all of that is what Job says in Job 26:

Then Job answered and said: ‘How You have helped him who has no power! How You have saved the arm that has no strength! How You have counseled him who has no wisdom, and plentifully declared sound knowledge! With whose help have You uttered words, and whose breath has come out from You? The dead tremble under the waters and their inhabitants. Sheol is naked before God, and Abaddon has no covering. He stretches out the north over the void and hangs the earth on nothing. He binds up the waters in his thick clouds, and the cloud is not split open under them. He covers the face of the full moon and spreads over it His cloud. He has inscribed a circle on the face of the waters at the boundary between light and darkness. The pillars of heaven tremble and are astounded at His rebuke. By His power He stilled the sea; by His understanding He shattered Rahab. By His wind the heavens were made fair; His hand pierced the fleeing serpent. Behold, these are but the outskirts of His ways, and how small a whisper do we hear of Him! But the thunder of His power who can understand?’”

Then we see Jesus practicing this same thing in Matthew 4:1-11 –Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And after fasting forty days and forty nights, He was hungry. And the tempter came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.” But He answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Then the devil took Him to the holy city and set Him on the pinnacle of the temple and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down, for it is written, “‘He will command His angels concerning You,’ and ”’On their hands they will bear You up, lest You strike Your foot against a stone.’” Jesus said to him, “Again it is written, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.’” Again, the devil took Him to a very high mountain and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to Him, “All these I will give You, if You will fall down and worship me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written, “‘You shall worship the Lord your God and Him only shall you serve.’” Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and were ministering to Him.

The Devil even tried twisting scripture to use against Jesus, but Jesus was pro-active and fought back with the truth of the Word of God. For both Job and Jesus, the Word of God was both their sword and their anchor. It’s no coincidence that the Word of God is portrayed as a double-edged sword and the only weapon listed in the Ephesians 6 armor of God.

Anyway, I’ve been learning a lot and growing a lot. I praise God for this season of life, even though it is the most difficult season yet, I can rejoice and have joy because I know that this momentary, light, affliction is working in me an eternal weight of glory!!! For real. Amen!!!!

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (AMP) –

“Therefore we do not become discouraged (utterly spiritless, exhausted, and wearied out through fear). Though our outer man is [progressively] decaying and wasting away, yet our inner self is being [progressively] renewed day after day. For our light, momentary affliction (this slight distress of the passing hour) is ever more and more abundantly preparing and producing and achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory [beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all comparisons and all calculations, a vast and transcendent glory and blessedness never to cease!], Since we consider and look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are visible are temporal (brief and fleeting), but the things that are invisible are deathless and everlasting.”

Urgency of the Hour

Yesterday has been stinking crazy. Well, all week has been, really. I went to Shabbat dinner, as usual. Only there were 5 of us. We ate and all that jazz. We sang only two worship songs. Then BOOM. The spirit of God fell on us like crazy. My friend, Janessa started singing in the spirit. Then she prayed, out loud, in a tongue over us. It was an obvious word from the Lord. We knew there had to be an interpretation. Josh had it, but asked for confirmation in his heart. Then Janesssa put in Misty Edward’s CD on “As in the days of Noah.” I knew this had to do with what she said in tongues. Then Josh opened his mouth and gave us the interpretation. He spoke about a fig tree and the flood waters that are coming and the urgency of the hour to lay down our lives, etc. I really don’t remember everything he said, but I do remember it resenating with my soul and stirring up my spirit.

So then we were hit with this fig tree, thing. Josh said something about God telling him theres a fig tree, then a flood. Then we were told to open up to Matthew 24, which talks about the fig tree, then the flood. We went on about dreams pertaining to that and how the fig tree is the people Israel but also the body of Christ right now.

Then Janessa got a vision of God giving each one of us a stone in our hands. We saw it as a heavy burden, but God told us to change our perspective and as we did it turned into a different treasure or gift to use for His glory.

Then God gave Josh a specific scripture to read to us from God. It was Zechariah 3:7-10, “Hear now, O Joshua the high priest, you and your friends who sit before you, for they are men who are a sign: behold, I will bring my servant the Branch. For behold, on the stone that I have set before Joshua, on a single stone with seven eyes, I will engrave its inscription, declares the LORD of hosts, and I will remove the iniquity of this land in a single day. In that day, declares the LORD of hosts, every one of you will invite his neighbor to come under his vine and under his fig tree.”

We were all seriously blown away and given a tremendous urgency. I knew I cannot go on living this way, but I need to lay it all down and live ALL for Him, not just in word or even in deed on the outside, but for real. So then there were other prophesies and things. Derek (i’ve only talked to him briefly on one or two occasions, he knows little to nothing about me) prophesied that he saw me in a car driving on the coast (i’m from california originally) with my hand out the window in the wind (which i LOVE to do). There was a beautiful sunrise in the horizon. The word of the Lord had said I was told my destination and destiny, but don’t get so caught up in the destination that I miss out on enjoying the journey. But also don’t get so lost in the journey that I lose perspective and forget about the destination. That was a good word.

Anyway, so I left their house and was going to go home and pray or something. Then I heard the Lord distinctly tell me to go to the prayer room, NOW. So I went to the Prayer room. I walk in and Misty Edwards is doing her thing. Then suddenly she changes the song, “…The people walking round with their fingers in their ears going ‘La da da da da. La da da da da…’ Time, time is ticking by…As in the days of Noah! As in the days of Noah!….”

Then I flipped out, like “NO WAY!” So I immediately start praying and we all start screaming, “Sound the Alarm! Sound the Alarm!” Then I open up my bible to Zechariah 3 to read it over again and there was a note in my Bible that says, “I sense something serious and urgent.” Then I knew something was FOR REAL happening.

Then Misty starts singing/prophesying things like, “The hour is urgent! Eat the scroll. Lay down your life. I am coming. Don’t quit. I am coming. What are you going to do about it? I am about to pour My Spirit out like never before. Will you be a friend of the Bridegroom? Will you perservere when everything is shaking? Will you perservere when your friends hate you, when your family abandons you, when the whole world comes against you? Will you perservere or will you be found wanting? The hour is URGENT! I really meant it when I said ‘take up the cross!’ How much do you want? How much will you give? How far will you go? Will you be a friend of the Bridegroom? Will you be a friend of the judge? Jesus is coming. You can’t say you didn’t know. Lay down your life. Eat the scroll. The hour is urgent. Will you be a friend of the bridegroom?”

The entire room was erupting in reaction to the Spirit. I was rocking, praying in the Spirit, and crying, as well as crying out to God. I went to tell Big D, who had missed most of it. And as I was speaking, I began violently shaking on the inside and a little bit on the outside. I was hit with something and the reality that Jesus is for real and He really is coming. I hunched over saying, “Oh, Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!” And then ended up on my knees and face, praying and crying out to Jesus, to take my life and take everything, etc. Then i needed air and was thirsty.

After a while, I ended up telling Michael Peck, who was ministered to like crazy. He told me to just keep talking because there was so much power in my words and testimony. Then he asked me to pray for him. I don’t even know what I said, but the power of the Holy Spirit was behind every word of it and it was stirring up my Spirit too. He prayed for me also, then told me what happened at EGS service that night.

I am blown away and ruined with the reality that Jesus is really coming and the hour really is urgent like never before. I feel like He is preparing us in this time to where, if we don’t give everything and consecrate ourselves to Him in this time, we WILL be found wanting and sleeping when He shakes everything that can be shaken. And that is happening sooner than we even know!!! This is FOR REAL. Our Master does NOT delay! Jesus!!!!!!!!!

I don’t want a name that I’m alive if I’m dead on the inside.

Good thing I am alive, in Christ! Amen!

HE is soooo beautiful and so gracious! He is the deliverer of my soul! He amazes me.

He is faithful, always! He came for me! I was dying inside and He made me alive! I was weak and He made me strong! I was distressed and He gave me Peace! I was alone and He comforted me with the Kisses of His lips. I am dark, but He calls me lovely! I was rejected but He has clothed me with the spirit of adoption. I was hated but He has loved me with an everlasting love. He is beyond good. He really is God. He really is faithful. He really is real.

His jealousy is like a burning, all-consuming fire! For real! He will not settle for less than ALL of you. That’s part of being WHOLE-HEARTED is loving Him completely and not having ANY other lovers. Just read Hosea, for real. Or even just the whole Bible cause the whole thing is just amazing. hahaha.

Jesus is awesome. But it is WISE to fear the Lord. Really. It is wisdom. When He starts coming after you like He is me, then  you will understand the fear of the Lord! Ha. He can take anything and everything away, and He will until you are whole-hearted for Him. He is faithful.

Oh how He loves us!

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane – I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercyWhen all of a sudden I am unaware
These afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are
and how great Your affections are for meHe loves us!
Oh, how He loves us!
How He loves us so!

We are His portion and He is our prize
drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
if grace is an ocean – we’re all sinking
so heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
when I think about the way that He loves us!

Yes! Come Jesus! Come shower us in Your love! Amen.

Oh Yes

Our God is crazy and I love Him!

He is coming. As you read this, things are being set in motion for His glorious return.

Get ready to see the skies roll back like a scroll. Get ready to see God shake everything that can be shaken. Get ready to see grown men faint from fear. Get ready to see fire fall from the sky. Get ready to see all tribes and tongues bow. Get ready to see coming of the King in the sky. He is coming. Get ready, lest you be offended in that day. Fall on the Rock or the Rock will fall on you and crush you into peices.

Do you know who the God of Jacob really is? The wrath of the Lamb is coming and going to fall on the Sons of men in this generation. The ark is being built at this very moment and when the rain begins to fall, it will be too late. Jesus is alive! He’s not a baby in a manger, He’s not a broken man on a cross any longer, He didn’t stay in the grave (death cannot hold Him down!), and He’s not staying in Heaven! He’s coming back for His bride! He’s coming to destroy the wicked and take back what is His! He is coming to reign and live among us once again. The Bridegroom is coming! The Spirit and the bride say, “Come, Lord Jesus! Come!” Amen.

 

 I’m in love with a Love that is eternal.

 

Desire

Oh, if I could only see this Man…

with the eyes like a flame of Fire!

HE is the sign.

HE is the wonder.

Oh to know this Man!

Oh, the beauty of this Man!

But oh so much more than a Man — GOD in the flesh!

Jesus Christ

IN ME…

My hope of glory.

My confidence!

Christ IN ME.

I am seated in Heavenly places

In Christ.

BOLDLY

I come to the throne of God

KNOWING

He inclines His ear to me.

He ANSWERS me.

GOD

ANSWERS me!

Oh, but didn’t you know?!

I am the Daughter of the King above all other Kings!

My inheritance is in HIM.

I can ask

ANYTHING

and it will be given

because HE LOVES me.

HE delights in me.

Nothingcan seperate me from HIS love.

This is my confidence

I’m living for another age.

God so loved me

that HE became a meer man

HE was tempted in every way

But without sin.

HE was beaten and killed

all forlove’s sake!

But HE’s not a baby in a manger anymore

HE’s not a broken Man on a cross

HE didn’t stay in the grave

and HE’s not staying in Heaven forever!

HE’s coming back

For ME!

Oh the beauty of this Man!